Thursday, January 5, 2012


Guys, before you start judging(btw, Mother Teresa said-If you start judging people, you won't have the time to love them and I need lots and lots of love! New to the blogging world, you see ;) ) I am not a violent person (my fights with siblings are an exception, but are they fights?Okay! Whatever!!)
Neither do I follow Gandhian ways. I am nuetral! But I HAVE TO, WILL someday for sure teach them a lesson!

Ohh! You want to know who my worst enemies are!!!!!!! Really???
So Ladies and Gentlemen!!!!! I present to you the most dirty, irritating, annoying, bugging and all other related synonyms you are free to add.


Sorry to disappoint but what did you expect? I told you I am not a violent person.
There are numerous(I lost the count) incidents which can prove it. Here are few-

TIME: The very beginning of this relationship.
CAST: Mom, Me, and ofcourse IT(monkey)
 9:30 in the morning. I was in the kitchen(what is sooo funny?!? Stop laughing!!!). And I was making myself a coffee. There is a window in the kitchen(everyone has. Big deal!!). I saw something on the window. Actually it was IT. And unfortunately, the window was open! And was I scared!!! Hell yes! I tried all the 'shoo' and took 'belan' as my weapon(it would have definately scared dad and him also) but in vain. It had no intentions of moving! Guess he came for a coffee. As they say "A lot can happen over a cup of coffee". But someone please tell him, I am committed! But soon came mom and immediately IT was gone. Waah!
This happened everyday, EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for a month. IT would come. Sit on the window, leave on seeing mom!
So, this made me popular(read: joker) that IT had a crush on me(am I supposed to blush??) and IT was scared of Mom!!!!

YOU WANT MORE???? Cool !!!!!

TIME: Night, Before dinner time.
CAST: Everyone! Dammit! This time the entire family!(shittt!!) and a box of cherries(yummm...)
So we all were together. Having nice family time. Mom goes out aand searches for the box of cherries in the fridge so that we could eat. She couldn't find. She asks me. And me, a big lazy ass, didn't want to move and so I said, "Someone stole it!!"
Well, this is my usual answer when someone doesn't find things they have kept! She searched and searched but someone actually stole it :O
REALITY: Balcony door was opened! The monkeys found a way, opened the fridge, and took the box of cherries!!! :((((
HOW WE KNEW: Next day, neighbour aunty comes to gossip with mom. After usual gossips, she tells mom that at night there were cherries scatterred all around their place and they were stamped upon which left stains on their floor(Let me tell you she is one cleanliness freak!!!!! I call her Ramu kaka :D) Aree yar! If you didn't want to have, atleast you could have returned na!!!
But, the point my friends, I was right! THEY WERE STOLEN!!!!!!


TIME: Don't remember. Some random day, random time!
CAST: Me and HIM.
We were together. Don't remember what we were doing!(I have short term memory loss,bear with me) and suddenly I see IT! I tell HIM, "Lets run!!!"
HIM says, "What!!!! Don't you dare insult IT! They are our ancestors.......Go and touch their feet and take blessings." (ofcourse he was aware of all the incidents) but he actually means it!!
Some time in future, if you see HIM walking with IT, don't consider IT a pet(you might offend HIM). Actually IT would be the most important member, infact, HEAD of the family(after all, ancestors baba! Respect banta hain.) Just go ahead and seek IT's blessings.
This image makes my man think that IT are our ancestors!
I have many many many many many many many more to tell! May be some other time.

P.S. IT recently, just one week back, pooped in my balcony!!! Dammit! We do have public toilets everywhere na!!!

KARARA JAWAB MILEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (No, I am not doing potty in his tree house. I will find other ways.) 


  1. hehe sort of reminds me of stories my granny used to tel whr she used to mk rotis evryday sum few hundred yrs ago n d monkeys wud cum eat dem :)

  2. Even I have a granny tale to share.She was making rotis on 'chula' in the open and someone pulled her 'choti' and she thought it was dad. She hit it with the belan and later on turning found it was a monkey.....!!

  3. haha.. Poor you! Luckily I haven't had many monkey encounters! But I am pretty scared of wild monkeys!

  4. I have one good suggestion for you to take this "not taken" revenge. Mirch ke pakode :P :D
    Monkeys were integral part of my life(the place was full of monkeys of all types) upto 5th std(aur *sangat* ka asar mere par bhi dikhta hai ab to :P)

    1. Naicee.....I will serve them if I don't end up eating myself :D
      Just three days back, they opened the fridge and took away oranges and spilled entire milk.
      Men and monkeys.....I wrote about their relationship in my 'Love sex aur dhokha darling' wala post :D

  5. Hahahaha..respect our ancestors :)