SOMETHING SOMETHING - KUCH TOH BHI !!!!!! KUCH BHI NAHI !!!!!!

The name of my post doesn't make sense, right? Well, nothing here makes sense! This is my best attempt at being normal :D. Actually I have been thinking(yes,I did get tired after doing this:D). This name tells so much and yet nothing! I know, zyada philosophical ho gaya! Okay, fine! Enough of melodrama! I have to share a dream I had recently.


See, I am not much of a dreamer, like as in philosophical term but I dream regularly! Not as in winning the nobel peace prize(hahaha.....that will always be a dream only, anyways, doesn't suit me:D) or Ranbir Kapoor falling for me, I wouldn't mind that :D but I would love to break his heart, for a change(I know! I am dreaming while writing this post also! NO NEED TO REMIND). But when I mean dreams, I mean the literal ones which come while we are sleeping!(see, I enlightened you:D)
I dream a lot, sleeping wala dream, not the philosophical wala. Like, every time I sleep(vegeterian wala sleep, you pervert!) I can dream. There are very few nights when I don't dream. And not to forget, each one is SO interesting that I can dedicate a complete blog to it!

I wish I could do that! But I am very VERY VERY VERY lazy! I am so lazy that this could surely get me a nobel prize(if they had in this category) but because I am so lazy, I wouldn't have gone to collect it anyways! Now you get my point!

Once to explain my laziness, my mom told my dad (that day she was very angry as I  refused to help her in the kitchen- STOP LAUGHING, I know where my kitchen is!)
                                  
                                           If her(my) mother-in-law(MIL), by mistake, asked her(me) for a glass of water, she(me) would fill a glass of water, drink a sip, go to her MIL, spill all the water on her head, and bang her head with the same glass BUT she would do all this in her mind because she is too lazy to do that in real :(( 
There are many more definations about my laziness, according to my mom, but after listening to this I do give glass of water(fine, sometimes only!). Actually, you know what, whenever I see that someone is about to tell me some work, I go and sit in the loo to hide from that particular work:D And whenever I have guests, I suffer from diarrhea (jhuth-muth wala) so that I don't have to work! But, I miss all the good food:(

You must be thinking, why this dirty diarrhea! She can fake a fever! But, alas, my friends, I am very unlucky in this case:( I never, like NEVER get a fever. Last time I got a fever was five years back and I was so happy that I, flushed all the medicines so that I didn't get well soon:P I mean, its good to get the attention once in a while but this stupid fever doesn't come only! I sometimes feel like cutting an onion and pressing it under the underarm to get one, but, lazy me:D I did this once when I was in 5th std. I didn't finish my homework that day so I wanted to avoid going to school. I did place the onions, but still there was no fever. I forgot to cut the onions:/

Anyways, this post was supposed to be about my dream. This is a scary dream. Actually, I watched a horror movie, Nightmare on the Elm street that night before sleeping. Here is my dream:


I was in a crowded place, it was a wedding or a social gathering, I don't remember! I was playing with a swiss knife which was a gift  for my man from my last week's visit to Nainital (strange gift??I know! Best part is that I am planning to give it to him on Valentine's day:D) So I was playing with that knife and was giving different kinds of poses with it before the mirror. And all of a sudden :O
...........to be continued.....hehahahahahaaha.......(SUE ME!)

P.S. I wrote this post after a long time. I was vacationing in Nainital, I was suffering from diarrhea(I had guests at my place:D) and I am lazy. I have so many things to write but lazy me!

P.P.S The name of the post here is 'something something' because it has something of everything that
happened with me in my recent past and I promise to continue it soon(pukka wala promise). And thank you all soooooooo much for liking and encouraging me to write more:) Love you all!!!!!!!!

                          

SABUN KI SHAQAL MEIN BETAA TU TOH NIKLAA KEWAL JHAAG, JHAAAAG,JHAAAAGGGGG............

.......Bhag!bhaag bhaag D.K.Bose D.K.Bose DK Bose DK Bose DK bhaag(WAIT!!!!!!! I didn't literally mean it and anyways I wouldn't adress anyone as D.K.Bose I have the habit of completing the song even when I write and this post has no adult content*** in it) Okay!! Continue singing. WAIT!!!!!!! Read this post first.

So this post is about sabun, I mean SOAPS, DAILY SOAPS(as in Bond,James Bond).I am writing about daily soaps doesn't mean I am promoting them. Infact I HATE(read: hate in capitals) daily soaps! So here I am taking out my frustration on daily soaps through my blog(my family doesn't let me do otherwise). Fans of daily soaps........Please stay away.(abhi idhar tak padha hain toh continue kar na and please do comment)


                                     BADDE ACCHE LAGTE HAIN(Big ones are liked!!!!)

This sabun soap is about a rich tycoon marrying a simple girl(Wait! I am not supposed to be promoting this show) Okay,fine! Who doesnt't like big ones?????? Girls like BIG ones(remind me about my trip to Haridwar after this post) and Boys toh obviously like BIG ones only(I am talking about salary packages,God bless your mind!)
And not to forget the SMS that were making rounds which said "Pamela Anderson inspires a show on sony."(God knows what they meant:D)
But seriously apart from these needless big things(mentioned above)yeah,right!! We all like BIG cinemas,BIG bang theory,BIG boss etc.In short,we are a BIG fan of BIG things(I do not promote adult content).



                                    KUCCH TOH LOG KAHENGE(People might say something!)


Yeah! Right! You make such shows and expect people to stay quiet! In this show, a buddha doctor loves a young doctor and then there is a buddhi doctor who is always plotting against the young doctor! Guys,why can't you just go and save someone's life(I meant "ours")!
Anyways, one fine day, if the buddha doctor marries the young doctor to show happy endings(which will not happen unless 14 reincarnations, 50 generation leaps, 79 marriages, few plastic surgeries and what not will take place) will they change the name to "MAIN KYA  KARU RAM, I MARRIED AN OLD MAN". You fell in love, you married him, so for the sake of SHREE RAM, spare RAM!


No, I am not yet done!!!!


                                   BEEND BANUNGA,GHODI CHADOONGA(I will become a groom and sit on a female horse mare!)

Imagine a donkey sitting on a mare. That is what this show ia all about! Okay, jokes apart, I am totally clueless about this show. But this conversation shall explain :

MOM: Call dad and ask him if he will be late even today.(Its been around 3 weeks he is late and he was in office on 1st of January which happened to be sunday)
ME    : I am busy.(FYI, I was stalking a random profile with a hot display picture on FB) So you call.
MOM: I already did, thrice!
ME    : (Yeah! Right!) Still you want me to call? (I did call him and he informed he would be late.)
  
I tell mom and she looked worried. Why?? Well, she thinks dad is with his "WOH"(hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.............)
My dad will reach his seventies in just few years, will celebrate his 50th anniversay very soon, has lost almost all his teeth and is completely bald! Nothing, NOTHING (I do not promote adult content!) in this world will help him to have an affair.
What made her conclude this?  This particular daily soap where a family member has an extra marital affair.

 I always thought that things couldn't get more worse. Well, they can! My man calls me up and asks me to record these shows as he will be late! *banging my head on the wall*

*** I DO NOT PROMOTE ADULT CONTENT :D

P.S. I might write a PART 2 if anyone finds this funny(bear with me).

THE REVENGE NOT TAKEN!!!!!

Guys, before you start judging(btw, Mother Teresa said-If you start judging people, you won't have the time to love them and I need lots and lots of love! New to the blogging world, you see ;) ) I am not a violent person (my fights with siblings are an exception, but are they fights?Okay! Whatever!!)
Neither do I follow Gandhian ways. I am nuetral! But I HAVE TO, WILL someday for sure teach them a lesson!


Ohh! You want to know who my worst enemies are!!!!!!! Really???
So Ladies and Gentlemen!!!!! I present to you the most dirty, irritating, annoying, bugging and all other related synonyms you are free to add.



MONKEYS!!!!!

Sorry to disappoint but what did you expect? I told you I am not a violent person.
There are numerous(I lost the count) incidents which can prove it. Here are few-

TIME: The very beginning of this relationship.
CAST: Mom, Me, and ofcourse IT(monkey)
 9:30 in the morning. I was in the kitchen(what is sooo funny?!? Stop laughing!!!). And I was making myself a coffee. There is a window in the kitchen(everyone has. Big deal!!). I saw something on the window. Actually it was IT. And unfortunately, the window was open! And was I scared!!! Hell yes! I tried all the 'shoo' and took 'belan' as my weapon(it would have definately scared dad and him also) but in vain. It had no intentions of moving! Guess he came for a coffee. As they say "A lot can happen over a cup of coffee". But someone please tell him, I am committed! But soon came mom and immediately IT was gone. Waah!
This happened everyday, EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for a month. IT would come. Sit on the window, leave on seeing mom!
So, this made me popular(read: joker) that IT had a crush on me(am I supposed to blush??) and IT was scared of Mom!!!!

YOU WANT MORE???? Cool !!!!!


TIME: Night, Before dinner time.
CAST: Everyone! Dammit! This time the entire family!(shittt!!) and a box of cherries(yummm...)
So we all were together. Having nice family time. Mom goes out aand searches for the box of cherries in the fridge so that we could eat. She couldn't find. She asks me. And me, a big lazy ass, didn't want to move and so I said, "Someone stole it!!"
Well, this is my usual answer when someone doesn't find things they have kept! She searched and searched but someone actually stole it :O
REALITY: Balcony door was opened! The monkeys found a way, opened the fridge, and took the box of cherries!!! :((((
HOW WE KNEW: Next day, neighbour aunty comes to gossip with mom. After usual gossips, she tells mom that at night there were cherries scatterred all around their place and they were stamped upon which left stains on their floor(Let me tell you she is one cleanliness freak!!!!! I call her Ramu kaka :D) Aree yar! If you didn't want to have, atleast you could have returned na!!!
But, the point my friends, I was right! THEY WERE STOLEN!!!!!!


I KNOW THIS POST IS GOING LONG BUT BEAR WITH THIS!!!! IT'S WORTH LISTENING!(reading)


TIME: Don't remember. Some random day, random time!
CAST: Me and HIM.
We were together. Don't remember what we were doing!(I have short term memory loss,bear with me) and suddenly I see IT! I tell HIM, "Lets run!!!"
HIM says, "What!!!! Don't you dare insult IT! They are our ancestors.......Go and touch their feet and take blessings." (ofcourse he was aware of all the incidents) but he actually means it!!
Some time in future, if you see HIM walking with IT, don't consider IT a pet(you might offend HIM). Actually IT would be the most important member, infact, HEAD of the family(after all, ancestors baba! Respect banta hain.) Just go ahead and seek IT's blessings.

This image makes my man think that IT are our ancestors!
I have many many many many many many many more to tell! May be some other time.

P.S. IT recently, just one week back, pooped in my balcony!!! Dammit! We do have public toilets everywhere na!!!

KARARA JAWAB MILEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (No, I am not doing potty in his tree house. I will find other ways.) 

Yaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! My first post!!!!!!!!! :) yippee!

Finally, I am HERE! It's been around years, okay! fine! few months actually (to be more precise- one or two, I guess), I have been thinking to join the WONDERFUL world of blogging.
Why? Well, came across a blog and found it sooooo interesting that I bookmarked it! And that lead to one after other. Still in the learning phase!
And, NO, the name of my blog doesn't mean that I am mad! I am completely sane(stop laughing! NOW!)
The fact that I wanted a blog led me to the MOST DIFFICULT TASK (yes, difficult than the roadies wala task) ever, that is, THINKING! (fine! laugh now!) WHAT WOULD THE NAME OF MY BLOG BE????
And here I was, pulling my hair and HIS hair also (sorry, but I guess you might get completely bald because of ME.......hehahahaha) for a name! And a busy man he was! On what? Well, on 'Whatsapp'.
So the tiring, the difficult, the most time consuming job of THINKING was left to ME! (woh bhi alone :( )
So, anyways..........I was thinking and thinking(stop laughing) and I said myself, "yaar, soch soch ke thak gayi!"
And HE spoke inside my head(dammit! get lost! It's my HEAD!), "Jo kaam hum bohut kam karte hain, usually tires us!"
Then a lightning striked (really it did! the weather, I tell you!) why not my Blog's name be TIRED OF THINKING!
So immediately I jumped for his opinion(as if I care).
ME  : I thought of a name!
HIM: Whatsapp? (because he was BUSY with that)
ME  :  Pagal hain kya??
HIM : (in a sarcastic way) nice name!
ME   : (lost in different world) this is not what I thought of but it's also nice!
So my dear(soon-to-be)friends and readers(if I have any :p),my blog got a name!
And I guess, this is my first post.





P.S. My name here is CD! Well, that stands for Confused D(D is my initial) Actually when they asked for a name and I, got confused(lame, I know!) because I don't have one name. Nope, not talking about those pet names which your parents, friends, doodhwalas, kachrawala and who NOT gives you! I mean the OFFICIAL NAME! Yes, I have quite a FEW OFFICIAL names!(next time on this, if anyone is interested :D)



P.P.S I wonder if anyone will EVER read this. The post script itself is as lengthy as a post :/