Friday, April 6, 2012

FIRST 55 FICTION (SCOLDINGS) AND A WELCOME SPEECH :)

He left for temple like he did everyday. Before going inside he would distribute biscuit packets amongst kids who sat there. He forgot to bring them for next two days. Third day, a girl came and scolded him, "You have become careless! Don't forget to get them tomorrow!" He smiled and took out the packets.


Now- A WELCOME SPEECH :)


Ladies and laid ass (Men, I am talking to you!). Welcome to my  your pagalkhana! Okay.....Fine! I know its late, like VERY VERY LATE but still I decided to welcome you guys. I just realised that I never thanked you for commenting or following my blog. Most importantly, I never thanked you for bearing with me! I see many heads nodding in approval and "happy realization" has reached my ears.


No excuses! None at all. There is a reason but not good enough! Frankly speaking I never thought that I would ever, like EVER get a comment on any of my posts or anyone would even follow me! The only reason I started blogging was to read from you guys and writing- as I always say, I am learning to write. I never thought anyone would ever read my blog.


When I started blogging, I asked my man, "Who's gonaa read this shit and who the hell would comment!"
He being the sweet one said, "Don't worry baby, I will comment as a different user every time you post something. This way you would get atleast few comments."


So even he had the feeling that my blog would be a deserted island.


More than that, I knew this man hated reading as much as I love it! He reads only 'Mills and Boon' that too only few pages. I am sure you must have understood which pages I am talking about!


You know, someday, if I would give him divorce papers saying, "Baby....I signed them.....Your turn now." He would happily sign them without reading and only later he would found them to be property papers :D You get the gist now?


So guys, I never expected any of you. You are like flowers, food and belly dancers on this deserted island.  I mean it! *sniff sniff* (Getting a bit senti here)


So let me begin with the speech :) -


*Blank*
*still blank*
*asking my 3 year old neighbour kid for help*
*searching Google for a welcome speech* 


:D......Guys....Screw the formalities! You don't need a welcome. This is YOUR blog! You can come here, leave a comment (good, bad- anything!), write an entire blogpost (Trust me, I wouldn't mind. Its your blog after all!), throw a party- also pay for the food and drinks and do anything you feel like! You can even flirt with your fellow blogger at your own risk :D Everything in this blog is yours......EVERYTHING except for the ID and password. Kidding! No, I am not.......ofcourse I am kidding! Chuck it!


So......err.....This is the so called welcome speech. 


P.S. There is a lot of confusion about my relationship status. Guys! I am the confused here.....have mercy on yourself! I am happily married for the last five years. Can't say the same about my man   Being married for the last five years doesn't mean I am 72 years old and you have the right to call me "Aunty"! Don't you dare do that! I am only 23 years old and I will ***$!!^&)(*&^%$£"£$%^"£$%^***** if you call me aunty!!


Nothing is written in a foreign language or a foul language! It only means that even I don't know what I would do but I would definitely do something. Maybe call you uncle or grandpa!


P.P.S. What is you problem here! That I wrote "only" before 23 years old. Suppose I gave you a cheque of 23 lacs rupees, wouldn't you ask me to write "only" over there?!? tch...tch......Never expected this from you :(


P.P.P.S. I am NOT giving a cheque of rupees 23 lacs "only" over here. I meant it hypothetically! 


P.P.P.P.S. Finally I would like to thank you guys for commenting, following and bearing with me :) I just hope you continue to bear with me :)

69 comments:

  1. >You know, someday, if I would give him divorce papers saying, "Baby....I signed them.....Your turn now." He would happily sign them without reading and only later he would found them to be property papers.<

    OMG! HAHAHAAAAAAHA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehe :P This is actually gonna happen someday!

      Delete
  2. Hehehe.. Hey CD!!!, randomness ur love.. oops, its the other way around... :D

    God Bless, CD!!! n keep up the good work..:)

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  3. :-) This deserted island has a sauna bath,a jacuzzi,a full bar,delightful cuisine....and a host of other goodies...How could I resist not coming here???:-D LOL!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. *sniff sniff* This is the best thing someone has ever said about this blog.....Thank you so much *sniff sniff*

      Delete
  4. Haha AUNTY! xD
    I am seriously wondering if that was at all, BY ANY MEANS (:P) a welcome speech ;)
    But you made me laugh, and that's what I come here for ! :) :)
    THE PS PART IS THE BEST!:P :P
    Seriously speaking, I love your blog!(More than you!:P) and its destined to get lakhs of followers someday (Lakhs, ONLY!:D )!
    Keep writing! :)
    As always, I am ready to bear!<3.
    (I realized, the last sentence is becoming a kind of signature!:P Nevermind!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only you could do that (call me aunty) and escape without being punished! Can't help......You are that sweet :)
      Kya yar.....I tried and I know its NOT a welcome speech but I tried :D
      Aww.....Love you :*
      hehe.....I knew this was coming :P
      My blog loves you too and so do I <3. hehe....."only" lakhs followers :D
      Thank you baby....muuuah!
      Finally someone noticed! Yes, it is my signature line :)

      Delete
    2. Heheh love you too aunty ! ;);) xD :P
      As I read those comments,I now realized you married at 18(well they did some fantastic calculations haan :P:P)
      and I am like oooooooooooooooooo?
      Loll, nevermind..I still like you ;):P

      Delete
    3. haha....Love you baccha :P
      Your maths is weak....tch...tch :P

      Delete
  5. OMG!! u truely are a mad woman CD!! I can feel that!! :P
    I too got ppl like u in my life, n I hold dem too dear, close to my heart...! :D

    but babe, u r just (only) 23 now and already married fr 5 yrs...!!!! :O
    u were married at 18 rite away??!!
    gr88..!

    and ur welcome speech, I liked it a lot..!! ;) :D

    and thnxx fr givin me the liberty to make my comment a full-fledged blogpost...!! *me clapping happily* :D

    so keep writting! :D
    cheers love!! :D

    aditiray6.blogspot.in

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guess what! I have exactly the same feelings. I wonder how we two thought the same thing :O
      Aww....Thanks babe....You are close to my heart too :)

      Your maths is too good :D Actually as son as I turned 18, I wanted to do something illegal. I decided to ruin a man's life so I married him :P

      Thanks for liking my 'so called welcome speech' :P

      Its not liberty baby.....its your right....You should protest if anyone tries to take it away from you!

      Thank you :* :)

      Delete
  6. hahaha...looks like someone got drunk and is still on a hangover here:P CD!!! Wake up, girl:)

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    1. Nope.....Bilkul nahi!! :O
      I swear on drunk, I am not God! :D

      Delete
  7. You married at 18??? wohaa that was completely shocking :D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. *sigh* This is the only thing you found interesting about this post! :(
      Koi nahi.....Next time I will try hard to impress you :)
      And yes, it is shocking for me, because I keep forgetting about it!
      It should not be VERY SHOCKING for you as 18 is considered a legal age to get married, isn't it?
      :) Thanks for reading :)

      Delete
  8. Hahaha..u drowned the 55 fiction with thatbamazing welcome speech :)

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    1. hehe....Yes and I realized this VERY late :D :)

      Delete
  9. hehe na from your posts I thought you are even younger to me :P 18 is the legal age but you are the first one I know who married that young :P

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah....physically I happen to be 23 but mentally I am 2+3 :D
      Well....maybe there are more such girls but you never came across them :)

      Delete
    2. I really really like the mental age bit :P

      Delete
  10. wow....baal vivah hotey hotey bach gaya :D
    No calling aunty - check .
    Cool blog ,babe ;-) !
    A lil' funny , a lil witty and definitely good to read .
    Keep Going :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehe....haanji :P
      Thank you babe :)
      Thanks sweety :)
      Aww....Thanks and welcome here :)

      Delete
  11. CDieeeeeeeeeee !


    As in, craaazy craaaazie Deeeee ! We must meet someday. We'll be a riot. Like this total unforgettable riot.

    Until then, I pity your (definitely) better half. I am kidding. (not really).

    I am still feeling thankful that you called us ladies as ladies and not any synonym. Thank you very much :P

    CD CD CD CD, I will read you on sunday nights or monday mornings - can you please post a riot of a post so that I feel mad and abso-fantabulously insane on monday mornings ?

    Your fiction 55 is a sweet sweet one :) Makes me wonder if you are alright. I mean, c'mon, CD without madness? No wonder the welcome speech more than made up for it.

    ok ya, just coz' you said we can type posts, let me not abuse the privilege now (and make you turn on some special moderation).

    Keep posting. And my best wishes to your man. Really can't stop thinking about the poor soul.

    :)))))))))) Huggggggs !

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Tofffeeeeeeeee....(something I loooveee!!)
      Ah! I so agree with you! And I am sure our neighbours would have to call the police to stop us :D
      Hehe....He needs encouragement to bear me....I understand :P
      hehe.....How could I do that! I also come under that ladies category ;)
      I so hate sunday nights (because sunday gets over) and monday mornings- I hate you monday...huh! :D
      But I will try and make them special for you ;)
      *phew* you noticed that 55 fiction thingy....Thank you! Everyone totally forgot about it :(
      CD without madness? Not possible I guess.....I wanted to sound sweet for a change.....You caught me :D
      No moderation for sweet sweet toffee....I don't want to stop eating them!
      Aww.....he needs all the wishes....Include him in your prayers too :P

      Delete
    2. And a bear crushing tight HUG.....Love you Toffee <3 (Did I make your man jealous?:P)

      Delete
    3. HUG right back at ya !

      Love you too CD ! :)

      My man is only too happy to share the madness.

      Now, I just need to wait for more :P

      Delete
  12. My looooong comment of a post is not getting published :(

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Its published now :) I dint come online yesterday....saw it today and that is why I was wondering why did you comment thrice :D

      Delete
    2. yay yay ! I was wondering why it didn't say something like "your comment awaiting moderation" :P
      Thank God!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    3. Ohk! I guess I will have to remove that moderation thingy too :)

      Delete
  13. Super duper post... you really ogt married that early!! I know its not nice to ask age, but how old are you anyways? by the looks of it, you don't feel even a year older than 18, so from last how many years, are you celebrating your 18th birthday.. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehe....Thanks! Yupp :)
      Gone are the days when people used to say "Never ask a man's wage and a woman's age."
      hehe...Thats the sweetest compliment :)
      From the last 5 years, I am celebrating my 18th birthday :D

      Delete
  14. meri pyaari CD!!!

    Kya re...i was thinking about commenting on the 55 word fiction when your welcome speech made me forget all about it :P

    But why to welcome?? We are already bin-bulaye-mehmaan re.....maan na maan, hum tere mehman you see :P

    I have said this earlier as a reply to you in my blog and will say it again - "you mix up different proportions of words, ideas and thoughts to induce peals of laughter to the mango people " and the aam-junta is ever ready to hear you out :D

    Aah...so you got married at 18...you already let that out some time ago dear..i think the 'high school musical' bit which u mentioned in one of your posts was a clear give away :P

    But so what?? you are, will and always be less than 6 in our eyes....be it 2+3 or 3+3 :D :D :D

    Be mad, do mad and spread the madness

    P.S Nice fiction..that 55-word one :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pyariest Visha :)
      hehe....I guess this effect was on others too :P
      Haan re! But still when I found that other bloggers were welcoming their new members in every post, I too wanted to make my readers feel special :D Now I have no idea how you guys actually feel :P
      hehe....You are way too sweet to say this :) Love you for this :*
      I did in that 'high school musical' bit and again in that 'tag' post also. But still I got responses like "Oh! You are married! Din't know." So I thought of clearing it finally :)
      hehe....So child marriage it is! This is a great idea to sue my man :D
      hehe....And then make you mad :P
      P.S. Not a fiction....That man happens to be my man. Thanks :)

      Delete
  15. Haha! funny post. and thanks. I'll be sure to come here everytime and comment something good *NOT*.
    Keep Writing. Keep spreading the pagalpan.
    -N

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    1. hehe....Thanks and any honest opinion is always welcome. After all I have to improvr :)
      Pagalpan on the way :D
      Btw are you the anonymous N who I misunderstood to be a guy?

      Delete
  16. super cool post! I knew you were one of my aged bandwagon :) Happily married is a great state to be! Thank you so much for welcoming me, sweetheart! I am indeed super happy to be here! *hugs*

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    1. hehe....Thanks! :)
      It truly is!
      My pleasure, sweetheart! :)
      And your being here makes me super-duper happy :) *hugs* :*

      Delete
  17. I loved the fiction. It left me smiling :)
    You have a lovely blog which is obviously not deserted. Though deserted places do have it's own charm, eh? :)
    Keep up the work :)

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    1. This is the best thing someone has said about the above fiction :)
      hehe....Thanks :D Oh Yes! Deserted places happen to be spooky and mine is.....Well....you decide that :)
      Thanks Philo :)

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    2. Spooky?? Haha. What does CD even stand for? :P

      Delete
    3. CD stands for Confused D :D
      When these blog people asked for my name, I got confused and my initial happens to be D....So CD!

      You know what, you should read my previous post, ofcourse,only if you are interested! It will answer almost all your questions about me :)

      Delete
    4. I surely will read them :) Looking forward to your next post :)

      Delete
  18. Thanks a lot for the visit CD!
    I got a really ' different ' blog to follow now... fultoo pagalpanti!
    After reading the post I had the same feeling as if i just finished a roller coaster ride!
    maza aya!!!!

    will definitely keep on visiting your blog!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lols .. that was quite a welcome ...Flowers,food and belly dancers --- er , exactly what kind of a comparison is this :D

    ReplyDelete
  20. hehe....Thank you!
    And the comparison....err...I tried :D (and failed miserably :( )

    ReplyDelete
  21. haha.. you are the Queen of randomness! I missed reading your posts! Visited your blog after a long time.. I got to know that you were married only after reading someone's comments on some post! But you are only 23??? :O That I dint know!!!

    www.thegirlatfirstavenue.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Aww...Thank you so much :) :) :)
      Oh yes, unlike other girls I am not hideous about my age :D :)

      Delete
  22. WOW.. loved the 55 fiction and yes he needs to be scolded how can he forget ..

    and now to the welcome speech .. This was one post I should have come early but I was away so I am sorry for not commenting earlier :)

    Thank you for the welcome and the lovely word as in Ladies-ass hmmmmmmm good goood ..

    How are you doing and BY THE WAY why have you not written since 6th april LONG time ... jaldi jaldi jaldi

    Bikram's

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    1. Thanks! You are among the few ones who remember the fiction :)
      Its ompletely okay! Better late than never :)
      My pleasure :D
      I am good :) And Yes, Its been very long I have written anything! Sister's wedding. Will be back soon :)

      Delete
  23. I bet whenever your significant other reads this post of yours, wherever you mention him as "my man" makes lil sparks fly in his mind. Every man's subtle wish, that is.
    Nicely written.

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    1. He is mentioned as 'my man' in every post I have written :) (ofcourse, wherever I mentioned him :D)
      And really? I mean this does make men happy? Never knew that!
      Thanks :)

      Delete
  24. First, what a sweet piece of fiction! Second, what a sweet welcome speech! :D

    I always knew you were much younger to me, but I was confused when you referred to your man and being married. :D Wow, married at a 18! How does that feel?

    CD, you seem like such a wonderful person! :)

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    1. Thanks Sumitra :)
      See....that is why I mentioned in particular! :)
      Err....How does it feel! umm....well...I don't know! Its a mixed feeling. Difficult to put them in words, I guess!
      Thanks Sumitra....You are no less:)

      Delete
  25. Replies
    1. Wedding in the family. Will be back soon :)
      I am glad that you wanted to read something fron me :) :)

      Delete
  26. That's a nice flash fiction : )

    And such an original sweet welcome speech :P :)

    Cheers!

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    1. Thanks :)

      Ah! Completely original :P :)

      Cheers!

      Delete
  27. CD waiting for the new post for so long... buck up girl.... write up... :)

    and one suggestion, why don't you enable subscription by email?, RSS feeds may be.... I never get a mail when you post something new though I am subscribed to you....

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    1. Soon Jas :)
      Wedding in family is keeping me busy!

      And I am doing this ASAP! Thank God you let me knew!

      Delete
  28. I love what you strike out usually...that's funnier than what you write.. (of course i'm kidding), I like everything you write here.. keep rolling, girl....and keep us rolling as well.. :D

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    1. hehe....:)
      Thank you so much! I am trying :)

      Delete